Self-doubt can be a nasty, stubborn, and downright pain in the butt weed that burrows itself in even the most confident of minds. The most frustrating part is, often when one doubt pops up five more sprout with it.
People, with good intentions, will say, “just believe in yourself, “ but, they don’t always provide the steps on how to do just that. Now, believe me, I get it, I know how difficult believing in yourself can sometimes be, and retraining your mind to let go of self-doubt and fear takes work.
But friend, it’s so worth it! Investing in yourself and your confidence will keep you moving forward and help you achieve your dreams! And, please trust me when I say you’re not alone, I still get assaulted with uncertainty and insecurities, but I’ve made a commitment not to let them hold me back.
So the next time a disgusting, self-sabotaging thought pops up in that beautiful brain of yours, STOP! Literally, just stop and suck in a deep breath. If one breath doesn’t calm the doubts swimming around, then keep inhaling until your head is level.
There are some days where stopping the thought in its track just isn’t enough. Next what I usually do is pray, a short and simple prayer to balance my emotions and to have faith. I follow this up with positive affirmations, quotes, and a couple of my favorite verses.
Positive affirmations or mantras, whatever you prefer to call them, are everything to me! Those simple sayings coupled with me stomping my feet on the ground a couple of times to ground myself in the present are usually enough to bring clarity and positivity back into my mind.
But this might not be enough for you yet, and that’s okay, I’ve spent years filtering out negative self-talk and overcoming deep insecurities of wanting to be perfect and fearing other’s seeing me as less. If you need more, do more.
Also, to be clear, this doesn’t mean that the insecurities I was feeling are gone forever. In fact, I find a common theme in my self-doubt and the doubts might pop up multiple times in a day, but I’m diligent in recognizing them and stopping the thoughts quickly because if I don’t, I know my mind will start spinning.
For the extra anxious days or for the negative weed you can’t seem to grip from the roots, there are a couple of other tricks that will stop those negative thoughts from swirling around attempting to destroy your confidence.
Write it down. Grab a pen and paper, and without thinking about spelling, grammar, or fear someone else might read what you’re writing, pour your fears onto that paper. Spill your guts, get raw with yourself.
Then read it out loud. Sounds silly, but this little trick helps me in one of two ways, either I see how ridiculous I’m being, and my fears are totally unrealistic, I have a little laugh at myself for being dramatic, and my doubts quiet afterward. Or I realize, this is real, these are areas I need to help on, or I need to improve on, and that’s when I talk to someone.
Now friend, be careful who you share your anxieties with. For me, I pick someone who I consider is smart, caring, spiritual, positive, and further along in their self-knowing journey than I am. Because my goal here is to believe in myself, so if I’m going before someone with low self-worth, or who’s negative, or even full of anxiety, I’m not going to get to my goal. And the goal is and always should be to love and believe in yourself. You’re worth it. You deserve it. And the world needs all you have to offer.
So friend, do yourself a favor today, stop every self-limiting thought that pops into your head and replace it with a positive affirmation. It can be as simple as, “I can do this” or “I will succeed.”
Finally, be your own cheerleader and surround yourself with positive, uplifting, and healthy friends who will celebrate your achievements.
I’m going to leave you with one of my favorite quotes from William Shakespeare, “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
Think about that. Let it sink in, and of course, like always, I’d love to hear from you. Message me and let me know if this quote resonates with you.